KETTLEWELL HUMOUROUSLY REMINDS ME WHY I TOOK ETERNAL LEAVE FROM PARENTING

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Myself and Georgina don’t have children, mainly down to medical reasons. But what we do have is two cats and a dog, which if you were to eavesdrop on our house at any given time of the day, you would think that we were living with teenagers. They don’t come when they are called, don’t speak, sleep for long periods of the day, and stay out all night (that’s mainly the cats). They also fight with each other and traipse food all over the gaff, not to mention eating everything that isn’t securely locked away or defended with your life.   Like most animal lovers we do talk to our animals and can regularly hold fairly lengthy two-way conversations with them, making me think I missed a calling on the stage as a ventriloquist.

I am though, a godfather to two girls, one of which lives in Melbourne. Some people might think even in the godparenting dept. I got away lightly. So, as you might have guessed this month’s second book review is all about parenting, no! It’s not a self-help book. Its Eternity Leave by Simon Kettlewell and self-published (February 2021) available on Amazon.

Brigit Wheeler’s partner (mysteriously unnamed) has for the past nineteen years been the sole carer for their four children Chloe, Emma, Ruby and Ollie. While Brigit has gone out to work running a large UK hospital, he, the un-named narrator, decided to take the unconventional route (twenty years ago) and be a stay at home dad. Setting out to be self-sufficient and follow in the footsteps of TV Chef Hugh Fernley Whittingstall, while also becoming a successful novelist and proving men can be capable parents, especially when guided by the self-help book The Complete Guide to Childcare. But five minutes after Bridgit’s maternity leave ended with their eldest Chloe, he realises the magnitude of this decision, after all this time, has he really achieved anything?

It was only after reading this book and looking at the press release that accompanied it, that I saw in big bold letting “A MUST FOR ANY PARENT”. But despite that, I enjoyed this book, it’s funny and although not being a parent I wasn’t ROTFL, as the kids might say, more often than not I found myself reflecting on how I react when my young nieces and nephews do something and my sister telling me to relax. Then I quickly realise there’s a divine reason I’m not a parent.  I did sympathise with the main character (good god, let’s call him Mr Wheeler), As I endure the same respect from our pets as he does from his kids.

There are some poignant parts in the book, for example, when he meets another mother and her mum pushing her kids round a local zoo and a couple of months later, he meets the grandmother with the kids  at the same zoo, only to discover that the daughter died of cancer shortly after the last meet, and what “Mr. Wheeler” thought was the fatigued look of childcare on the mothers face was actually her battle with cancer. Ok, not exactly 24hrs in A&E, but a nice touch for a piece of fiction.

Simon Kettlewell

This is English author and father of four, Simon Kettlewell’s (www.simonkettlewell.co.uk) fifth book, his others are Bread for The Bourgeoisie (2014), Dead Dog Floating (2015), The Truth About Us (2016) and The Truth About Her (2016) all self-published and available on Amazon. Simon lives in Devon, with his family, a variety of animals, in a multicoloured house where people come and go like passengers at a station.

So, if you are looking for book that is cross between the TV shows, Breeders, Outnumbered and The Good Life. While also seeking to reassure yourself that your parenting skills are above par, and that the path you have chosen is, definitely not a lonely furrow, then get on to Amazon and order a copy to enjoy while the kids are asleep or before you do.

Reviewed by : Adrian Murphy

This book review is part of a Random Things Blog Tour. To see what the other reviewers thought read visit their blogs listed below, then if you get a copy of this book and read it, comeback and tell us what you thought, we’d really appreciate the feedback.

SHERIDAN UNCOILS THE MYTHS, WITH A TAUT MEMOIR OF HER ASCENT TO MOUNTAINEERINGS HEADY HEIGHTS

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When I was in my early twenties, my then partner went through phases of enthusiasm for various outdoor hobbies. One of them was mountaineering. Whilst I’m a happy camper and rambler, climbing up steep mountainsides, and worse still, coming down them is not my cup of tea. I’d tried rock climbing once on a school trip and having been told to jam my foot into a crack in the rock, I found I couldn’t remove it. The instructor had to climb up below me and undo my boot laces so I could extricate my foot. If that wasn’t embarrassing enough, I couldn’t will myself to lean back off the edge of the cliff and abseil back down, so I had a rather shame faced walk back down by a longer route. However, and maybe because of that, I’ve always admired the exploits of mountaineers. I attended a number of lecture tour events given by Doug Scott, a fellow climber of Chris Bonnington, the British Everest conqueror. This was a time of slide shows and a one man show, retelling his recent adventures, to raise money for the next expedition. I always remember Doug Scott being quite self-effacing, describing life threatening situation with nonchalance and humour. There didn’t seem to be any famous women climbers at the time, the early 1990s. It was kind of accepted that women weren’t strong enough to undertake these exploits and I never really questioned it, even though climbing and other ‘extreme’ sports were taking off at the time.

This brings me to this month’s first offering from the Library Door. Its Uncoiling the Ropes by Clare Sheridan and published by Mweelrea Press in July 2020 (available – Amazon). This book was presented to us as our May book club choice by Lesley Sheridan, Clare’s younger sister. In fact, Lesley doesn’t really get a mention in the book, but there’s no doubting they are siblings as they look so much alike. 

Uncoiling the Ropes is a memoir of a lifetime of heart stopping adventures. Having been told in 1970’s Ireland that ‘girls don’t climb’ Clare Sheridan decided she wasn’t listening and went on to become recognised by fellow climbers as a pioneering leader, meeting the love of her life  during her first trip climbing in the Alps,  raising three children , holding down a career as a teacher , whilst continuing to tackle difficult routes on mountains all over the world as well as achieving a phenomenal succession of first climbs on Irish cliffs.

This is an engaging and enjoyable book to read. The first chapter is full of drama. A real cliff hanger, if you’ll excuse the pun and it really reels you in. Then we go back to the beginning of Clare’s passion, started by mountain walks with her father and a rivalry with her sister. We travel through Clare’s early climbing career. In the Alps she meets Calvin Torrans, a well-known mountaineer from Belfast. They start a long-distance courtship, carried out on various cliff faces! We hear about their travels into Canada, where they take on oil exploration work designed for rock climbers to fund expeditions. Eventually they move back to base themselves in Ireland and raise a family. The social conventions in Ireland at this time are explored in the book. Clare and Calvin had an unconventional and forward-thinking approach to marriage, running a household and raising three children which would have certainly jarred at the time. However , they seem to carried it off with patience , humour and a determination to live life their way that many of us could envy now in these more ‘enlightened’ times.

Claire Sheridan (Mountaineering Ireland)

This is Irish author, climber and retired school teacher Claire Sheridan’s first book. Although she has other writing credits to her name, such as regularly writing articles for the Irish Mountain Log and co-editing numerous rock-climbing guidebooks with her husband Calvin Torrans. In 2014 she was the first woman to be awarded the Lynam Medal by mountaineering Ireland, other recipients include Sir Chris Bonington in 2019, along with the only other woman to date to have been awarded one, Innes Papert in 2015. She lives with her family in Bray, Ireland.

The book is full of humour and there are sad events and regrets expressed too. Its very human. I was left feeling that Clare had, in the book at least, put herself second to Calvin. The book was quite technical in explaining about techniques and politics in relation to the sport, without being heavy handed. The included photographs are amazing and bring some of the text further to life. That’s not to say they are needed, the writing is very good , Clare really brings the story to life , making the inaccessible , accessible, but I enjoyed being able to see the faces and places she wrote about.

From the safety of my sofa, this was an enthralling and exhalating story, told with passion and aplomb. I would love to listen to Clare regale with me stories in a theatre, when restrictions allow.

Claire and husband Calvin Torrans (IADT)

Reviewed by Georgina Murphy